Come On People, Think Objectively!

So I'm in the garage the other day, tinkering with something when I hear my backyard neighbor yell for me. In my backyard is a pit bull chasing after our new kitty. A loose pit bull in a neighborhood filled with little dogs, little cats, and LITTLE KIDS?!!!!

It turns out the one of the neighbors (whom I've never met, or seen for that matter) has this dog.

I waited a few hours after the crisis was averted, to give myself time to think about what I wanted to do or say. I suppose I could have called the cops or ran right over to her house and banged on her door ('cause, man I was HOT about it). But I thought better of it and just chilled out.

And you know, I couldn't just let it lie. A loose pit bull in the neighborhood cannot be ignored. So I knocked on the neighbor's door when I figured out what to say. The first thing I said, after introducing myself, was "Is that your pit bull I saw in my yard chasing my cat?"

Now I waited a very long time after she responed "yes" to give her every opportunity to do what I would have done. "I'm so sorry, I really try to keep him under leash, but he just got away. Is your cat ok?" Stuff like that. That's what I would have said.

You probably know where this is going. It's not at all her problem that her man-killing dog runs around the neighborhood looking for its next victim. I'M the BAD NEIGHBOR for voicing my displeasure. "It's a mixed breed" she said, which apparently makes it ok. Yeah, it looks just like a pit bull, so maybe it's 90% pit bull and 10% something else. So I guess I feel a little bit better--maybe now it won't kill one of the neighborhood kids.

I know what some of you are thinking. He just hates dogs. Not true. I LOVE dogs. I'm getting one this fall, in fact. I love every kind of dog, except the breeds that weren't created and genetically engineered to functional primarily as attackers and maulers.

Look, pit bulls are so genetically altered to bring out their agressive traits that maybe only 5% of pit bull owners can really keep them under contro. Maybe 5%. The other 95% may have good intentions, but it's like handing them a live hand grenade with the pin pulled--it's safe as long as you never let go of it.

So maybe you should think objectively and consider the worst case scenario before you run down to the humane society and bring back your hand grenade....